Child Custody and Visitation in Virginia

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Custody is about where your child lives and who makes decisions for them. If you and the other parent cannot agree, a court can make that decision for you.

Both parents have equal rights when it comes to their child. It does not matter if you are a mother or a father. There is one exception: if a parent has a history of violence or abuse against a family member, the judge will take that into account when making decisions.

This page explains the basics of how custody works in Virginia and helps you find the right information for your situation.

What are the types of custody?

There are two types of custody:

Physical custody is about where the child lives. It can be sole physical custody, meaning the child lives primarily with one parent, or joint physical custody, meaning the child spends significant time with both parents.
Legal custody is about who makes major decisions for the child, like where they go to school, what medical care they get, and how they are raised. Decisions can be made by one parent alone (sole legal custody) or by both parents together (joint legal custody).

You can have one type of custody without the other. For example, both parents can have joint legal custody and share decision-making, but the child mostly lives with the parent that has sole physical custody.

Most custody orders include some kind of joint arrangement. Sole physical and legal custody is not common. A judge will usually only award sole custody when there is clear evidence that one parent has been abusive, is not a safe caregiver, or has blocked the other parent from seeing the child.

What is visitation?

If one parent has sole physical custody, the judge will usually also order parenting time, also called visitation, with the other parent.

The law requires judges to make sure children have regular and frequent contact with both parents so long as it is appropriate.

How does the court decide what is best for my child?

The judge looks at many things, including:

The role each parent has played in the child's life
Each parent's relationship with the child
The child's age and needs
Whether each parent will help the child stay in contact with the other parent
Any history of abuse or violence

How do I file for custody or visitation?

To file for custody or visitation without a lawyer, you go in person to the Court Services Unit of the Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court, called the J&DR Court.

What happens after I file?

After you file, the court will schedule a hearing within a few weeks.

At the first hearing, the judge usually makes a temporary decision and doesn’t allow any evidence to be presented. But it is good to have your evidence ready just in case the judge decides to hear the evidence and issue a permanent order at the hearing.

Courts have strict rules about how evidence is presented, and knowing what to expect makes a real difference.

What if my order needs to change?

Even a “permanent” order is not always forever. If something important has changed, you can ask the court to update it. If the other parent is not following the order, you can ask the court to enforce it. You can also appeal the judge's decision, but you have to act quickly. Appeals must be filed within 10 days of the order.

What if there is domestic violence?

If a parent has a history of violence or abuse against a family member, the judge will consider that when making custody decisions. That history can change how the case is decided.

What about child support?

Both parents must help pay for their child, no matter who the child lives with. Child support and custody are two separate things, but you can file for support at the same time you file for custody.

Here's how support generally works:

If your child lives mostly with one parent (custodial parent), the other parent (non-custodial parent) usually pays child support.
If your child spends equal time with both parents, the parent who earns more may still pay some support to the other.

A child support order also spells out who pays for the child's health insurance, child care, and other costs.

Under Virginia law, there are guidelines about how much support is appropriate for each family based on their circumstances. Support has to follow these guidelines unless there is a good reason not to.

Parents can make their own agreement about support, but there is an important limit: a parent cannot agree to receive no child support at all. The law requires parents to financially support their children. For a low-income non-custodial parent, the minimum monthly payment for one child is $68.

What if I am not a parent?

In some cases, grandparents and other relatives can file for custody or visitation. What you need to prove to get custody or visitation as a non-parent is harder than it is for parents. This is because courts assume that children are best raised by their parents and that courts shouldn’t override the parents’ decisions.

Do I need a lawyer?

For custody cases, the court will not appoint a lawyer even if you can't afford one.

You do not need to have a lawyer for a custody case. Courts can be intimidating and confusing, but it is pretty common for people to represent themselves in visitation and custody cases.

Just keep in mind that a final custody order is the law. Once it is in place, it is hard to change. If you can safely work things out with the other parent without going to court, you may have more control over the outcome.

Either way, getting legal advice before you go to court is worth the effort.

Where can I get free or low-cost help?

Find your local legal aid office: virginialawhelp.org/get-legal-help or call 866-534-5243.
Ask a lawyer a question online for free: virginia.freelegalanswers.org.
Get a half-hour lawyer consultation for $35: vsb.org/Site/legal-help.

Things to remember

Both parents have equal rights. There is no preference for mothers over fathers.
What matters most to a judge is the best interests of the child.
Most custody orders include some form of joint arrangement. Sole custody requires strong evidence.
If there is already a custody order in place, you generally need to go back to the same court to change it.
Free and low-cost legal help is available. Getting advice before you go to court is worth the effort.

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